barb eisele

Are you living an authentic life?

Mustering the Courage to live an Authentic Life

freedom_chain Are you living an authentic life?  I know for some the title and this question are loaded and it’s meant to be. J  I hope you are still reading, because this question could save your life.  It did mine, literally!  I wasn’t physically on death’s door.  In fact my last doctor’s visit and my ability to cycle 111 miles in the El Tour de Tucson would say I was in great shape.  However, emotionally and spiritually it was quite different.  I was taking herbs to calm my anxiety and I felt spiritually bankrupt.

My story:

On November 7 our dream house that we had moved into almost exactly 4 years before was foreclosed by the bank.  It went to auction on the court house steps despite all our efforts to get the loan modified or short sale our lovely home.

This was like an earthquake inside of me. My core values and beliefs seemed violated and I was left shaken. I felt shame, embarrassment, and guilt. I was humiliated. I was angry and disheartened with myself.  I was numb to the deep sadness that would emerge later.  It was a dark night of the soul for me.  My inner voice kept saying “I am a very experienced coach.  How can this be happening to me?”

I have a deep sense of personal responsibility for my life, that’s what my work is all about.  Now I felt like a fake, an imposter of the worst sort!  I did all I could to hide what had happened.  I avoided certain social and business situations.  I kept conversations focused on the other person, heaven forbid they should ask me about my life!   I thought I had to keep my circumstances and my despair a secret and put on my ever confident, optimistic face.

Through this entire time I was journaling, reading and masterminding with my two dear partners. I was using all the tools I have at my disposal. Slowly, I could feel my defenses were softening and what was emerging, in the face of the outer circumstances, was another perspective of myself.  I found that part of me that is grateful for my family and friends, loves to give to others and has gifts to give that transform lives, including my own! This shift in perspective had me discover the part of me I call my Authentic Self.

My Revelations:

What I’ve learned about myself is that my self esteem does not come from my address or the neighborhood I live in. It isn’t dependent on the beautiful tile, natural clay walls, or luscious bamboo floors I had in my dream house.  All of these are the external things that I still love and bring me joy but they are subject to going away in the unexpected wind of a tornado, flame of a fire, or a long and deep recession.

My “Authentic Self” isn’t changed by outer circumstances.  In the face of circumstances that were devastating to my ego, I found hope and courage. Being connected to my Authentic Self provides me an unshakeable foundation for my self esteem. Because of that I have an even greater desire to offer the world my authentic transformational gifts.

My hope and intention in sharing my story is that you will be inspired to start reaping the gifts of the process of discovering your Authentic Self.  I hope it makes you curious about what’s really important to you, what you really care about.  Having a relationship with our Authentic Self gives us a place to anchor ourselves in the storm, ride the waves and come out on the other side stronger, more resilient, and with greater inner confidence and peace about who we are authentically.  It allowed me to muster the courage to be vulnerable and share my story.  I hope with all my heart it has made a difference for you.

I have a gift to support you in this discovery. This free offer is on my website, It is a journal of questions to start you on the discovery of your true magnificent essence and what brings you deep satisfaction and meaning. Enjoy the journey.

What I learned on my way to 111 Miles – Part 2

Wow, A 65 Mile Box; Darn!

It’s the first week of 2012, and before you know it we’ll be saying where did 2012 go? In that vein, have you set goals personal and professional goals for yourself for this year? Great if you have. If you haven’t maybe you’re saying, “I’d sure like to ____________, but it feels so big I don’t know how to do it, how will it ever happen”. Maybe you are saying, “this is the year to…” “I’m going to do it”, but in the background is “the voice” is saying, “ been here before and it didn’t happen, why bother”. All of this points to my topic for today. Whatever you have currently created is the “size of your box”.

When I was training for the 111 mile El Tour de Tucson last year I discovered that my cycling “box” was about 65 miles big. Wow, you say, that’s pretty big. Yes, it is, but it’s insufficient for a 111 mile ride. My desire to take on something so far out of my experience sent my body and mind into a tailspin. I had all the physical and emotional symptoms my body could throw at me. I was very anxious, my body was tired and I didn’t want to ride. Every time I thought of any distance beyond what I had ridden in the past the symptoms got louder. After deciding that I couldn’t force myself to overcome the anxiety and pain, I finally reached out for help. I had resisted help, saying I “should” be able to overcome this myself, after all I am a coach, I help people with similar issues. This was resistance talking and it was a powerful learning moment. By getting help, I was able to go beyond my previous limit.

Dr Joe Dispenza, gives the scientific evidence for what I have been saying for a long time. We can move only so far out of our ‘comfort zone’ before all kinds of resistance in the form of excuses, circumstances, or distractions, will show up. It’s the mind’s way of trying to keep you safe, one of its major functions. The good news is that the same mind that limits you can be changed to move you into a state that allows you to go beyond your current limits. Our brain, body and mind are wondrous, magnificent organisms, we just have to get them working for us.

In what way do you want to expand your box in 2012? If it’s a big stretch, don’t give in to the chatter in your mind that would limit you. Reach out and get help if you are stopped. I have two offers to support you reaching your goals in 2012 so a year from now you will have your arms raised in the air saying, “Yes, I did it”. First, you can go to my website and download my free e-workbook. It has step by step exercises for you. Second, Contact me for a free 30 minute lazer coaching session. Make 2012 your best year ever!

Barb Eisele - Life Transformations Coach

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